a. There was a change of some sort happening in my life
b. When I wasn’t being true to myself
Somehow, it doesn’t matter how planned this change is. We can totally bring it upon ourselves and still find we’re swimming against the tide. We could know a zillion techniques to stay centered and still find ourselves….well….off-centre.
I was speaking to a wonderful lady in Sydney for a peer coaching session. Though it was the first time we’d ‘met’, that too on skype, it felt as if her thoughts were a mirror image of mine. Culturally we were so different but our conversation was around the life changes we’d been through; though decided, planned and the choices being our own, we found coping up with them tough. In our case, this was around re-juggling life priorities with respect to kids, changing career tracks and the whole package that comes with it.
As we chatted, we realized that these changes threw us off-balance because they posed a question that we weren’t quite clear about:
“Now, who am I?”
The challenges and situations can vastly differ; moving into a new job or a larger role; changing careers; moving into unfamiliar surroundings; handling difficult relationships; breaking into new responsibilities. Whatever it is, an awareness of ourselves is important during transitions. And that’s the time when our brain reels in uncertainty. There are some questions we can ask ourselves to clarify where we are.
1. What is my purpose/ vision/ goal here?
2. Am I being true to myself/ my purpose/ goal/ vision/ values in doing this?
3. What’s going on for me right now?
3. How does it feel? Does it sit right for me?
4. How do I want this situation to feel?
5. What can I do to make it happen?
6. What support do I need?
Often in transitions, we lose sight of the original goal. Going back to his helps. Does the goal still hold good? Or is the ladder to where we’re going standing against the wrong wall?
All too often we feel we need to do it all by ourselves or feel that others should automatically understand what we need. Getting through transitions also means asking for support, the right helping hand.
And in the end, it might feel like swimming against the tide – but with the swimming we’re becoming stronger and what’s more, we’ve seen a new part of the river!