Hitting a wall…..and what does a camera have to do with it?

In the last couple of days, I’ve been feeling at a bit of a dead-end with something I’ve wanted to do. In this case, I realize that I hadn’t really articulated what I wanted to achieve, so the blur in my mind was a bit natural. I also realized that there were other areas where I had crystal like clarity in what I wanted; those areas in my life were smooth sailing, though it didn’t feel like I was putting in as much effort. In actual fact, I was putting in effort- it just didn’t feel like it because I knew what was  to be done! Kind of like ‘I put one foot forward and then the next’.

Ah..so at 5.30am I wake up with the thought that where I’m hitting a wall, I’m clear somewhere in my mind but it’s not in my spotlight. (In neuroscience terms, the prefrontal cortex is the spotlight of the mind. We can place 4-5 things in his spotlight at a time without the view going blurry on us- but that topic deserves a separate or several blog posts)…..and yes these 5.30am thoughts can be an apple falling on our heads but look so obvious to others! One person’s aha! another’s aherm?

So I crawl out of my warm bed and find myself….well…. reading a photography blog.

This took me back to the said wall I’ve been hitting and why I’ve been feeling helplessness there:

The question came. What’s been my focus?  

Has it been on x, y or z? Maybe I am hitting a wall here but something else is going smoothly there? Is that chance or have I been focusing on those other things. What’s going well there? How’s my thinking there? Can I give myself  credit there, learn from it and apply it here?

Do I need to zoom in a little more closely on this particular goal? Is there blur in my seeing and thinking? Do I need to sharpen my focus?

Am I looking at the wrong thing right now? Do I need to shift my focus somewhere else?

Is my thinking too narrow Do I need to put on the wide-angle to include more things?

Do I have the long angle lens on- am I thinking too far ahead of myself and missing the view under my nose? Can I break down the goal so I can see it happening as I go along?

This much was enough to re-approach the wall. Time to refocus. Hope these thoughts help if you’re stuck somewhere.

Oh…and it was a beautiful photography blog 🙂


2 thoughts on “Hitting a wall…..and what does a camera have to do with it?

  1. Thanks. My take is on the camera and focus analogy which is interesting. I was reminded of Byron Katie who also gives this analogy in her book “Loving What Is”. She speaks about the lens having something on it whilst we wonder that the world is fuzzy. btw, this may not be connected at all with your reflections but I am also giving myself the liberty to ramble. A piece from her book is powerful and just putting it here because it wants to be here :-), “Most people think that they are what their thoughts tell them they are. One day I noticed that I wasn’t breathing – I was being breathed. Then I also noticed, to my amazement, that I wasn’t thinking – that i was actually being thought and thinking isn’t personal. Do you wake up in the morning and say, “I think I won’t think today”? It’s too late. You are already thinking! Thoughts just appear. They come out of nothing and go back to nothing, like clouds moving across the empty sky. They come to pass, not to stay. There is no harm in them until we attach to them as if they were true. I don’t let go of my thoughts – I meet them with understanding. Then they let go of me.”
    How beautiful is that. Your early part of the narrative talks exactly about ‘knowing’ what had to be done without any active doer level thoughts. I wonder what does this ‘focus’ means? Who does the focusing? If we are being breathed, every state is sacred – worth living and dying for :-).
    Enjoy the day…………..

    • Thanks for dropping a note Vinit. I subscribe to Byron Katie’s ‘thoughts’ on not believing thoughts (!). It’s a given that we often feel we are in control when actually there is divine time and unfolding of everything. Byron Katie’s words for that is ‘being breathed’. I personally feel that there is a balance between the being and the doing. For example Byron Katie went through experiences perhaps not of her own volition, that she could help many others with. By her own ‘doing’ or something being done through her, she is an accomplished lady who has shared her teachings through books, conducting workshops across the world, teaching, guiding millions of people through many mediums. To actually touch so many lives (the fact that i know of her, subscribe to her on facebook and am discussing that beautiful quote with you) would also have required conscious and deliberate effort from her (and no doubt her team). For that she must have clarity in what she wanted to ‘achieve’. ( I use the words do and achieve and for the moment, I’d rather not get into discussion of semantics- rather stay with the meaning i intend). So for that clarity, there must have at some level, been intentions/ goals set. Agreed, her state of being, her not believing positive or negative thoughts about herself, others and situations would have greatly helped her. That’s mindfulness/ awareness/ consciousness right?

      But the clarity, is the focus i am talking about. I know there is something i’d like to do. Time being right, if it is to happen through me, it will happen. I also know that setting that intention and taking one small step each day towards will help that take place.

      For example, in my case i work independently because my family is my no. 1 priority. Hence my day tends to be driven by the needs of my family. So if i don’t ‘remember’ or take time out for other priorities or review where i am, some things that are also dear to me will just get missed out. Sometimes we get stuck in our minds and it just takes small shifts in perspective to help us take a step forward. We might be taking that step or it could be taken through us!

      In any case, each state is worth living and dying for.

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